Living Louder
by TieMyShoes
Summary: Seventeen-Year-Old Emma Swan's stuck in Neverland. With Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. With a bet that keeps her on the 'god forsaken island' and a former flame that seems to still have a spark, Emma is in for one big adventure. There is one thing for certain in Neverland; the impossible most definitely is possible. {AU - Piper Swan fic with a splash of Swanfire - A bit OOC}
1. Chapter 1

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUAT (tear, tear) but, by some miracle, I am allowed to borrow the characters (cue evil laugh) I'm sorry if you get confused or if your feels start acting out again.**_

* * *

**Chapter One: _Thrashing  
_**

* * *

A seventeen-year-old Emma Swan, sitting on the windowsill of her foster home with her legs dangling outside the window, opened her book to the page she had bookmarked with a creased corner. She was reading _Orphan_, a story about a girl who runs away from her foster home, in search of her family. Emma could barely read the book; it was poorly written and the plot-line was_ junk_. She had read better books than this by a five year old. Yet, Emma didn't want to put the book down. Quinn Wallaby, the main character, somewhat resembled herself.

"She's nothing like you, ya know," Emma heard a voice behind her, and jumped slightly. She hadn't expected someone to be up that late besides herself.

She turned around and was surprised to see Henry, a ten year old who had been there all his life, just like Emma.

"Rooster," Emma had nicknamed him that years ago, "go back to bed, it's late." Henry walked towards her and sat next to her.

"I read the book," he told her, marking the page she was on with one of his fingers before closing the book to look at the cover, "It's not very good. But we all, even me, wonder is Quinn really is like us. If we are like Quinn. But, Emma? You're not. I might be and and all the rest of them might be but not you. You're too good."

Emma gave him a tired smile, in an almost condescending way, "Go to bed kid, big day tomorrow." Henry sighed, before giving her the book, his fingers slipping through the pages, loosing Emma's place. He got off the window and walked back to his room, which was only down the hall.

Emma sat on the windowsill, holding the book in her hands, wondering why she cared so much about Quinn; she wasn't even a good character. And what Henry said was urking her. _You're too good_.

If there was one thing Emma knew about herself; she was not _good_. She was the opposite of good, if_ anything_. She broke the rules, she snuck out, she did bad things all the time.

Emma looked at the battered cover of Orphan, wondering why anyone with common sense would read this crap, before whipping it into the street. The more she thought about it the more she realized how right-and wrong-Henry was. She may have done some bad things, but she's wasn't completely bad. All the kids there were too, they were all great. So, as she sat there, her hair moving ever so slightly from the breeze coming through the window, her legs lightly tapping the side of the Foster Care Center as they swung back and forth, her mind suddenly clear with the realization, she whispered into the cloudy sky; "I believe him."

At first nothing happened. Emma hadn't expected anything to happen, at least to her surroundings. She had certainly expected some kind of epiphany, but there was nothing. Just the rustle of the leaves as they swayed in the wind.

And then all hell broke loose. Well, at least that's what it felt like to Emma. She was just sitting on her windowsill when all of a sudden a giant gust of wind blew straight towards her, almost knocking her off. The branches of the trees twisted and stretched, almost as if they were reaching for Emma, who was now standing, still in her window.

She strained to see what was going on-not only was it night, but she was in the middle of Nowhere, Massachusetts, where having street lamps was close to scandalous-and suddenly realized that there was a small black figure moving towards her.

At a high speed.

Emma ducked, but the black figure, which was looked like a boy from where Emma was, _grabbed her hand_, and _pulled her into the air_.

And then she blacked out.

* * *

Peter saw his Shadow slowly descend into Neverland, holding someone who had promptly passed out in its arms; bridal style. Peter raised his eyebrow, and smirked at the sight. A Lost Boy being carried like a child? Not a sight you'd see everyday.

But as his Shadow walked towards him, he realized that it wasn't a boy he was holding in his arms, it was a girl. A _teenaged_ girl.

The Shadow placed the girl on the ground in front of Peter, and tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, and leaving into the night, before Peter could yell at it.

Peter crouched down next to the girl to get a better look at her. She had long blonde hair, which reached a bit more than halfway her back, something Peter thought was unusual. She seemed to have very soft features, and lighter-than-usual skin tone. She seemed a bit tall, but Peter was definitely taller.

There was one thing on Peter's mind as he stared at the girl in front of him; _How lost was she?_

* * *

Emma woke up feeling someone watch over her. She didn't open her eyes of quicken up her breathing, she just laid there, calculating the best plan of attack. When you grow up moving from place to place and getting stuck in some really bad houses, you get used to fighting.

After about a minute, Emma grabbed the person's ankle-obviously surprising them-and yanking it towards her, sending them tumbling down. She soon straddled the person and put her hand in her back pocket, where she kept her swiss army knife. She brought it everywhere with her.

She smirked when she realized the person under her was a boy about her age, who was (a) obviously bigger than her, and was (b) looking surprised.

"Nice move," he said, before he twisted the position around so he was on top, "but I prefer being the one with the control in these types of situations."

He smirked at Emma's surprised expression. She had not been expecting that. But he fought dirty, and Emma liked dirty.

"Who are you?" She asked, faking most of her interest. She was a bit intrigued by him.

"Peter," He told her, getting up, "Peter Pan." He offered her a hand, which she promptly ignored as she got up herself, doing a push-off, sending her up in the air before she landed on her feet.

"Nice form," Peter told her, smirking as he did so. Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had dealt with more than one flirt in her time. But, she couldn't shake the feeling that he was different from the others. That he was dangerous.

"You say you're Peter Pan?" She said, her eyebrows quirking up as she said so, "So, let me guess. Right now I'm in the Neverland forest?" Her sarcasm evident as she said it, like it was the most impossible thing in the world.

"Oh look, she catches on quickly," He smirked at her-again-before he called out towards the trees; "It's alright boys, come out!"

Suddenly at least twenty boys came out of the shadows, each one holding some kind of lethal weapon. One of the older boys stepped forward, and took off his hood revealing a face Emma thought she'd never see again.

"_Emma?_" He asked, obviously surprised by her presence.

"_Neil?_" She said, mirroring his confusician. But, even with the anger she had held in from before, she walked towards him and pulled him into a hug.

* * *

Neil was, confused, to say the least. Out of all the people he'd expected to see on the island, Emma Swan was not one of them. Emma, _lost_? Never. She knew her way around life like it was her ever growing bookshelf. She was everyone's rock. So why _was_ she there? In Neverland? With Peter? And why was she_ hugging him_?

After all he'd done to her, he'd expected at _least_ a kick to the shin.

When she pulled away, she did a lot worse. She kneed him in the balls.

"I fucking hate you." She told him as he bent over in pain from the low blow, literally. Neil could hear her walking away from him, and most likely into the forest. And he knew Pan wouldn't let her out of his sight after what had just happened. Neil, or Baelfire as he was called there, had never talked about his personal life, so any chance Peter got at finding out anything about him, he would probably take up right away.

"Felix, get her," Peter ordered Felix, one of the oldest people there, to get Emma. Bae looked up just in time to see Felix grab Emma and pick her up-as she undoubtedly thrashed in his arms. Felix set her down right in front of Peter, and all the other lost boys, minus Baelfire, who was still bent over in pain.

"Bae," Peter looked towards him, his eyes sparkling with his normal mischievous glint, "looks like we're going to find out a bit about your past today."

* * *

**So, how do you like it?**

**This is my first OUAT FanFic. So, yeah.**

**Enjoy!**

_**-TMS**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing related to OUAT, because if I did there would be a lot more angst and a lot more sexual tension. But, alas, I must only borrow them for the short (long) time I write this fic**_.

* * *

**Chapter Two: **_**Let's Play a Game**_

* * *

Peter stared at a sleeping Emma, as he had learned her name was from Bae, or Neil as she had called him. Neil. In Peter's eyes, it wasn't a bad name. But he still liked Baelfire better.

But Emma was a different story. She seemed was the type of girl that would put up a fight, just as she'd shown earlier.

_Emma struggled in Felix's grasp, but he proved to be too strong for her. But she still kept fighting. Peter smirked at her She was feisty. He liked that._

"_Get your filthy hands off me you bastard," Emma spat out each word like they were an infection in her mouth, "Before I do it myself."_

_Almost all the Boys laughed at her, almost. Baelfire just stood there, he must have recovered already, looking at all the boys around him with an expression that read 'She'll fuck you over twice'._

_Emma had already taken the chance. She twisted her hands out of Felix's grasp before grabbing his own arms and pulling them over his shoulder, behind his back, probably breaking some of the bones in his arm. Seconds later she was in a battle stance, getting ready for anyone who was coming her way._

_Two of Peter's oldest charged in her direction, but Emma was too quick, she ducked the swing of one of the boys club, while at the same time tripping the other. Emma rolled over to where the club of the boy whom she had tripped lied and picked it up when she stood._

_The boy who's blow she had previously missed came at her again, but she was still quicker, and more sharp witted. She knocked the club out of the boys hands before bringing one of her legs up towards his face._

_Peter stood there in what seemed like almost awe. She could fight well. Really well. She had better form than all of his boys put together and was almost as sharp witted as himself. She could easily dodge the weapon attacks, but it was the hand on hand combat that was the wild card._

_One of the younger boys-who hadn't yet acquired a weapon-charged at her and started wrestling her to the ground. Emma definitely had not been expecting that. Pan could see it in her eyes._

_At least half of his boys were already moaning in pain, and Emma seemed to be almost winning the fight she was currently in._

_She dodged another punch, before docking the boy right in the chin, sending him tumbling towards the ground_

_It was her chance to run, but before she could go, she noticed the youngest Lost Boy-who was promptly ten years old-cowering back in fear. Her eyes immediately softened, and then flashed with something-Anger? Hatred? Fear? Regret?-before they went back the way they were before; kind._

"_Hey, buddy," she said walking towards the boy, who tried to walk backwards, but hit a tree instead, "No, no, no, no. I don't want to hurt you." She reached out, but the boy flinched. Emma instantly looked sad._

"_I don't want to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you," She told the boy, reaching out again, this time to stroke his hair._

_It was then that Peter realized that the boy had been crying. That was why she had gone to him. She couldn't bear the thought of a child crying. She didn't want him to be scared of her. But _why_?_

_It was too late by this time, Emma had missed her chance at running; Felix-who didn't look like he was in pain anymore-and one of the other older boys came up behind her and captured her again. Emma tried struggling, but the boys had grabbed her legs along with her arms._

Peter loosened the rope around Emma's wrists a little bit, he could see her skin starting to chafe. He didn't want her wrists to bleed when he had some, _fun_, with her.

* * *

Emma woke up with her hands tied. The last thing she remembered was being knocked out, by a club. Her head hurt, which backed up that statement.

She opened her eyes to see Peter watching over her.

"Ah, and Sleeping Beauty wakes," He smirked, alerting most of the boys around her that she was, indeed awake, "How was your slumber?"

Emma sat up. "Better than you'd expect, seeing as _you knocked me out_," She sneered.

Peter laughed, "You're sharp. I like sharp."

"How would like a sharp object in your heart?" Emma asked, standing up, and trying to undo the rope around her hands. Peter laughed at her response, not at all disturbed by her threat.

Emma saw her opening and threw her arms around Peter's neck, so it almost looked like they were dancing, before turning him round and holding the twine against his throat in a choalking position. The Lost Boys got into battle position, but seemed very nervous.

"Don't you move, or he dies," Emma threatened, the Boys didn't move. They were waiting for Peter to make a move.

Within thirty seconds after Emma's threat, Peter had turned the odds, again. He twisted around, and put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer, so she was now at his mercy. To any onlookers, it would look like they were about to kiss.

"I think you should keep your threats to yourself, Emma," he whispered in her ear, watching as her breath sped up, obviously out of nervousness, "before they get you in trouble." Peter leaned back, proud of his work.

And then suddenly he was pulled into a kiss by Emma, who had finally gotten out of her restraints. She suddenly kneed Peter in the groin, before running out of the clearing and into the woods.

* * *

Peter was pissed. No, he was beyond pissed. Getting played by a girl like that? Bae knew it was not something Peter was proud of.

"Don't just stand there!" He yelled, his frustration obvious, "Go after her!" The boys were soon in the forest, running after Emma who had at least a minutes head start, if not more.

"You know, Pan, I'd expect you to be a bit more logical in these types of situations. You know, she kisses you, you grab her hands, which she had almost obviously untied. She kicks you in the groin, and you grab her wrist to stop her from going away," Bae told Peter, sounding a bit harsh. He wasn't usually that rude, but it was the fact that Emma had kissed Peter that urked him.

Emma had kissed Peter willingly. To get out of the camp, but she still kissed him. And that hurt Baelfire. A lot.

"Well, I would have if she hadn't been such a great kisser," Peter remarked, know that that would piss Bae off more. Which it did. Bae was starting to get angry.

"I wouldn't know," Bae said, not showing any emotion whatsoever. He didn't want Peter to know what had happened between him and Emma.

Peter didn't reply. He just smirked, knowing that he had pushed Bae's buttons.

* * *

Emma ran through the forest, not watching what she was doing or where she was going. She just had to get away from them. She had to find her way home; her way to Henry.

But how?

Emma stopped. And suddenly she realized what was going on.

She was in Neverland. With Peter Pan and The Lost Boys and Neil. She hadn't even batted an eyelash when she found out. She didn't even seem to care.

And she knew that the only way out was with Peter's help, because she was damn sure she didn't know her way around the island.

Peter heard rustling in the bushes around the camp, and Emma came tumbling back, without the Boys.

"Come back for more I see?" Peter smirked, raising one eyebrow.

Emma rolled her eyes as she got up, brushing off the dirt that had gotten on her shorts.

"See, _Pan_," Emma said his name like it was an insult, "I realized a couple things on my escape. (1) I have no _idea _where I am on this god forsaken island, (2) I have no way to get around said god forsaken island, and (3)_ you _can help me get off, as mentioned earlier, the god forsaken island. So, _Peter_, lets play a game. I want off this island, and you seem to want me on here. Thats the stakes. I get one free trip off this island if I win whatever game of your choosing, and if I lose, I'll stay here, with you and your boys, for as long as you want me too."

Peter grinned, knowing exactly what game he wanted her to play, "Oh, you're on Emma, but rest assured, this game is going to be the hardest you'll ever have to play." Emma raised her eyebrows, as if saying 'bring it on'.

"If you can get me, by some miracle, to fall for you, then I'll let you off this island, no questions asked. And if I get you to fall for me? Well, let's just say you won't _want _to leave." Peter explained.

Emma stared at Pan, as if she was stunned by his choice, which she was.

"Emma, no," Bae told her, but there was nothing he could do, she was the one who had made the bet up, and Peter was the one who had to agree.

She was tied up.

"Well, Pan," Emma said, "looks like we have a game to play."

* * *

**PLOTTWIST**

**This early?**

**Yes, yes this early.**

***smirk smirk smirk***

**This chapter was literally so fun to write. I love badass Emma.**

**Review Please! I can't make it better unless you help me!**

**xxTMS**


	3. Chapter 3

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything OUAT related. However, for the while I am borrowing the OUAT related stuff, expect many plot twists (not in this chapter, why would you accuse me of that?) and much character development.**_

* * *

**Chapter Three: **_**Bare**_

* * *

"Thanks, Felix," Emma said, as Felix handed her some clothes he had found (Emma didn't believe he "found" them; she knew one of them sewed it).

"Welcome, miss," Felix told her, as he walked away, to let her get dressed. He was a gentleman; and he wasn't really keen on interfering in Pan's game.

"Please stay," She asked, almost pleading, "I don't really know anyone here, and you seem nice enough. I don't really enjoy being alone either," Felix stopped, and almost turned around, "Please?" She asked.

Felix slowly backtracked, looking around to make sure no one was spying on him. "Fine," he finally gave in, after a couple minutes of checking, "but only for a little while."

Emma smiled, as she watched Felix sit down. He seemed like a nice enough boy, not as rude or as brutish as the other Lost Boys. He seemed almost_ nice_.

"So," Emma said, trying to fill the awkward void that seemed to follow Felix around everywhere, "Nice, uh, weather." Felix laughed at Emma's try, he found it almost cute; in a platonic way.

"Yeah, I guess so," Felix said, more awkward than Emma.

"Just ask it," Emma told him, "You know you want to." Felix was surprised she could read him so easily; even _Pan_ couldn't read him that well.

"What was the bet you and Pan made? Because I know you wouldn't stay here unless you had too; and Pan seems a bit happier lately. That usually means some sort of deal was recently made." Felix asked, obviously interested in the answer.

"It's," Emma didn't want to tell him about the _actual_ bet, "complicated. It keeps me on this island until _Pan _gets what he wants. Which I know he won't. I know how to play games-and take me seriously when I say this-and I always win. And you know what else? I always get what I want." Emma got up, grabbed her clothes and went behind a bunch of bushes, to change.

Felix laughed. "Really? You've _never _lost?"

"Never. When I was about eight, during Recess, me and my friends were playing hide and seek, and I hid so well, everyone spent the rest of the day looking for me. It wasn't until two minutes to the end of school I came out."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, I always was a rebel."

"Mhmm? And, let me guess, you're good at everything, too?"

"Well, not everything."

"_Really_?"

"Yeah. I'm no good at soccer. Or any sport of any kind really."

"I don't believe that."

"Why?"

"Did you see yourself last night? You kicked all the boys asses. You're definately good at kicking asses. If that's a sport."

"MMA? Nah, not really."

"MMA?"

"Mixed martial arts."

"Oh." Emma could tell he still didn't know what she said.

* * *

Peter was watching as Emma and Felix sit together, laughing, and joking around, and having fun.

He didn't want to think he was jealous, but he almost was. Was it _Felix _she was going to fall for? Because, if she was, it would be a bit-he didn't want to say strange, but yes, strange. Felix was not the type of person girls like her fell for. Peter was.

And the bet was still on. He needed to make sure she fell for him. Whether he liked it or not.

* * *

Felix was absolutely confused about Emma's warmth towards him. They were completely opposites. Yet, he still seemed to find her conversations exciting and enjoyable. He could tell see felt the same.

"So, then," Emma said in between laughs, "he said, 'I'm nacho friend!'" Felix laughed along with Emma. Her jokes were absolutely wonderful. He really liked her; in a totally platonic way. She acted like he was her older brother, and he liked that.

"Oh my god," Emma stated, looking at the Lost Boys who were back from their hunt. Which usually lasted at _least_ four hours. Felix remembered them leaving sometime between the 'MMA' conversation and the clothes changing part of their program.

"How long have we been talking for?" She asked, staring the the Boys who seemed to be whispering about something.

"I'd say at least five hours," Felix said, stunned by the fact that they had talked for _so long_.

"Well, Felix, I must say," Emma said, getting up as she said so, "It was a pleasure making your acquaintance. You are a marvelous conversationalist." Emma then walked away not at all perturbed by the fact that all the Lost Boys were watching her.

* * *

"And so she returns," Pan said, coming out of the shadows as Emma walked to where her 'bed' was, "I'm surprised that you didn't keep Felix longer."

"Jealous?" She asked, almost mockingly. Peter grit his teeth together. She could see right through him. That was not something he enjoyed.

"Not at all," He said, pushing the thought aside, "Why would I be?" He smirked, and put one of his eyebrows up, something he could tell Emma got annoyed with.

"Well," Emma mocked, "you are a selfish bastard who can't seem to keep his attention away from me. So, yes, I am going to say you're jealous. Because (a) you are and (b) I can tell when people are lying, and honey, you're no exception."

Peter stared at the girl in front of him, wondering what Bae, or anyone else really, did to make this girl so hard and lost. He knew for a fact that she was not the cause of it-when is it the victims fault, really?-that someone, something did that to her. Caused her to be so alone.

"What?" Emma asked, confused by his expression. It was almost one of understanding. Compassion.

"Nothing." Peter stated, his kindness gone as soon as it had come.

"Well-" Emma started, before she was cut off by Baelfire.

"Emma we need to talk," He said, looking at Peter quickly before looking right back at Emma.

"No. We don't." She said, almost as if she was asking him to push her.

"Yes, we do. Emma, listen to me, please. Just hear me out." He begged, his eyes showing true emotion as he did so.

"Fine," She said, crossing her arms, "but not in front of him." Her eyes darted in Peter's direction.

"Oh, you want me to leave?" He asked, mockingly.

"Yes, it would be nice." Emma told him, almost sarcastically.

"Whatever you say, milady," He walked away, before walking away. But not out of earshot.

"I didn't want to leave you-" Bae started.

"That's rich." Emma rolled her eyes.

"Emma. I was told, by August-" He tried again.

"August?!" She practically screamed, "August said what, _Bae_, that we could never be together? That you didn't love me enough? That you'd only hurt me? What did my brother tell you, because I'd like to know." She spat out every word, a fire in her veins that wasn't there before rippled through her. How _dare _he bring her brother into that.

"He said I wasn't good enough for you, Emma. He said that I would never,_ ever_, be good enough for you. He said that _we shouldn't be together_." He yelled, forgetting where he was, who he was around, forgetting everything but Emma and his pain.

"And you left me because of that?!" She yelled, her voice cracking at the end, "You left me because you weren't good enough for me? I went through my whole life believing I wasn't good enough and then I meet you and suddenly I am. I am good enough, because you made me feel that way. Do you know how it feels to have everyone you love walk away from you because you're not good enough? Because I'm damn sure you don't." Tears were now falling from Emma's eyes, but she didn't stop, "You will never understand what I went through. Wondering where you were, why you left me? _Who_ you left me for? Neil I thought you loved me. I loved you." Her voice was softer, the toll of his loss finally showing in her voice, "But I don't know who you are anymore. I don't know anything anymore. I just, I can't trust you. I don't think I ever will again."

Emma turned around and walked away, holding herself together once more, trying so hard not to cry.

"Emma," she heard Neil say her name, "I came here because I believed in you."

She cried.

* * *

Pan watched Emma as she laid down, shaking from crying so hard. He had made sure her part of the camp was farther away from the rest of the boys, and closer to his part, so he could watch over her.

But seeing her like that? Crying her heart out, over _Bae_?

It wasn't something he had expected. It wasn't something he _wanted_.

She had been at the camp for six days, and she was already emotionally bare.

Pan wanted to take advantage of that, but he couldn't bring himself to. Their relationship was nothing more than a game; but he still couldn't take the steps towards her. He couldn't _do_ that to her.

And he didn't know why.

And that scared him. A lot.

* * *

**Felix and Emma is totally my Brotp.**

**I had to write them as Besties.**

**I just had to.**

**And EMMA AND PETER CONFRONTATION. AND PETER SHOWING FEELINGS.**

**And SWANFIRE PAST**

**God I did a **_**lot**_** in this chapter.**

_**xxTMS**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**DISCLAIMER: Blah blah don't own OUAT blah blah something about plot twists?**_

* * *

**Chapter Four: _Pain_**

* * *

Felix didn't want to feel pity for Emma. He really didn't; she was a strong girl, and she deserved a lot, but he couldn't help it. She had fallen in love with a Lost Boy-despite the fact that she was lost herself, it wasn't really anything promising.

Lost Boys knew nothing of love: they were so used to being forgotten or unloved, that they didn't remember how it felt. Or how to love back.

And Bae did, love her back, that is. It was so blindingly obvious that they were in love with each other.

Emma was starting to doubt her love though, and Felix knew it. She was worried about her feelings, and her mentality. And she was starting to wonder if she was insane. Not insane, though. In love. At first, she didn't show it. But after Bae-Neil-showed his face, everything changed. She let her guard down for a second, and in that second, Pan caught a glimpse of her true self, and was mesmerized.

And that was never a good thing.

He wasn't in love, _yet_.

He was attracted to the innocent child inside her, but also to the warrior facade. He wanted to bust open her shell, but not break it. He wanted to see the true Emma. And if he did, Felix knew that they would both fall for each other.

And he felt pity, because she had two boys-not even men, boys-pining over her, trying to get her to love them-for different reasons, obviously-when she didn't want anyone.

Both boys, so lost, thinking they've found Emma.

_And she didn't want that_.

He felt pity because she was in a bind keeping her in that position.

* * *

Baelfire couldn't cry.

He couldn't anymore.

After all he had been through, he knew that no tears would come, even though this was one of the worst things he had been through. He had cried too much in his past lifetimes, he couldn't cry again.

But he wanted to.

He knew, he knew, that he had lost Emma. Right then and there he had lost her. But, he let go of her before hadn't he? He had let her go, and now what were they?

Gone? Broken? _Lost_?

Bae never wanted to hurt Emma. He never wanted to break her. He never wanted to build another wall around the ones he had climbed up. He never wanted to prove to her what she had been told her whole life: _that she wasn't good enough_.

But he did just that.

And he regretted it every single second of the day.

But there was nothing he could do, was there?

He could apologize all the wanted. She would never accept.

He could try and get close again. But it would only end in pain and heartbreak.

He could let her do what she wanted. And how would that end up?

Emma was a wild card. If he put their relationship in her hands, she would do something unexpected and probably hurt more than one person, along with herself.

No, he couldn't do that.

Bae _needed_ Emma. He needed her more than she needed him. He always did.

Emma was free and happy and she did not _need _anyone.

She never did.

* * *

Peter was scared. Out of all the feelings he could be feeling, be was scared.

And for Emma.

He was passionate towards her, that was for sure. She had been there for six days, and still, she had somehow gotten Peter to show feeling.

But that wasn't why he was scared for her.

She hadn't eaten since her fight with Bae, two days ago. She had barely moved from her makeshift bed, and refused to do anything, muttering a simple 'I'll fucking kill you if you touch me.' Everyone knew she would.

Peter could not even think about how she must have felt. He couldn't even comprehend what she felt.

He didn't understand.

But he wanted to.

He wanted to console her and make her feel better and tell her his love stories, but he couldn't. He would never be able to because he had no love stories to tell. He had adventures, yes, but love? Never.

Peter was conflicted.

Something he wasn't sure how to deal with.

* * *

Emma was in pain.

Not from her stomach growling, she could deal with that, but from her heart.

Her physical heart.

She had a tendency, after anxiety attacks, to have and irregular heartbeat. But after at least a day, it was gone. So why was it still there?

* * *

Pan was there by Emma side as soon as he heard her say "Ow."

She was holding her chest, seemingly in pain. Pan was worried. He was never a good doctor-he was never a doctor in the first place-he couldn't diagnose anything, and none of the boys knew how to either.

Emma tried talking to him, but he shushed her.

"Emma, sleep," He told her, his voice showing his concern. Emma looked up at him, tired eyes showing defiance, but also pain, and misery, and _sadness_.

She tied talking again, but once again, Peter shushed her.

"Emma," he asked, "please?" He knew his eyes showed pleading, but he didn't care. Emma was hurt, somehow physically, and she needed to sleep.

And she did. She laid her head down on Peter's chest, willing him to lay down with her.

He wanted to smirk at her sign of affection, but he couldn't. It wasn't the time.

Right before she drifted off to sleep, Emma whispered two words, which Peter kept replaying in his mind for the rest of the night: "Thank you."

* * *

_Emma was in a bed. A familiar bed when she woke up. One that she seemed to know from her dreams. But this couldn't be a dream, Emma thought, it's too real._

"_Emma!" She heard a lady call out to her. A woman a few inches shorter than Emma stood in her doorway. She had lighter than normal skin-something that Emma seemed to share with her-which contrasted nicely with her long black hair. The woman had blood-red lips. She reminded Emma of Snow White from the fairy tales Henry had told her._

"_Oh, Savior," the lady whispered, "you're not ready to know yet." Emma looked at the woman curiously, Savior? How was Emma a savior?_

"_Savior?" Emma asked, cautiously, not trusting the woman in front of her._

"_You must save Neverland, Emma. You must. It is your destiny."_

"_I don't have a destiny. I can't have a destiny." Emma said, "I'm just Emma Swan."_

"_Just Emma Swan?" The woman asked, before dissolving into the shadows of the dream that seemed to be ending._

"_Please don't go!" Emma yelled into the darkness of her ending dream, "Please don't go!"_

* * *

Pan watched Emma stir in her sleep.

He knew she wouldn't want him near when she woke up: she was probably delirious last night.

As he stared shifting away he heard Emma whisper something.

"Please don't go."

At first Peter thought it was just a trick of his ears. That happened all the time. But when he heard it a second time, this time a bit louder, he finally believed that she did, if fact, want him there. For what reason, he didn't know. He just knew that she wanted him there, and that was all he needed.

* * *

Felix watched Pan and Emma lay together, cuddled up.

Emma had long since fallen asleep, and Pan had been asleep for hours. He had seen how Pan had acted towards her last night: with kindness. Something he had never seen Pan have.

But now, as he lay there, Pan looked peaceful.

Felix was proud. They were making progress. Emma was making progress. She was becoming emotionally invested in someone besides Bae, who seemed to be sulking over by "his tree". Emma hadn't talked to him since the incident and he seemed to be in a funk.

Felix wanted Bae to be happy, but not as much as Pan deserved someone to love. And if Bae was the only thing standing in Pan's way: so be it. There would be a hell of a lot of competing going on. And Felix did not want to be part of it.

* * *

Emma woke up with arms around her waist, pressing her closer to a chest. She took in a large whiff, and smelt cinnamon sugar and mint, an unusual but somewhat alluring mixture.

Something that was also completely unfamiliar to her.

But she didn't want to leave, She was warm, and her heart didn't hurt and for a couple seconds after she woke up, she felt happy.

She slowly tried to recall the events of last night, but her memories were mostly blurry, but one thing stood out: she had wanted Peter in bed with her last night, and he didn't take advantage of her.

She decided that since he was still asleep, she would pretend to be too.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she wanted to stay in Peter's arms for as long as she could.

So, as she lay there comfortably, she fell back to sleep, completely unaware of the fact that Peter was awake too.

* * *

Bae got up to go to check on Emma. Three days it had been, and no one, except Felix-whom Emma seemed to almost _trust_-and Pan had seen her.

He didn't care who he had to go through to see Emma. He just wanted to see her face.

"No." Bae heard Felix say, getting up from his post, "You cannot, and will not see Emma." His voice was fierce and protective, somewhat like August's voice.

"Just a glimpse," he begged. It hadn't taken long for his facade to drop.

"You won't like it." Felix deadpanned, not taking his eyes off of Bae's.

"I just want to make sure she's okay," Bae said, not backing down. Felix didn't want to fight, and Bae knew that if they did, he would win.

"She's fine. Now go." Felix told him.

Bae-for the first time since Emma had come-followed orders.

* * *

**Lots of internal monologue.**

**And Piper Swan moments.**

**AND THE DREAM.**

**Sorry. Not sorry.**

_**xxTMS**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**DISCLAIMER: Once upon a time I wished I owned Once Upon A Time but I don't. So, I ran and stole all there characters and am writing you this story while I hide from the character police in my basement. Enjoy it while it lasts.**_

* * *

**Chapter Five: _Run_**

* * *

"Oh, you're awake," Peter said, after Emma woke up for the second time. She yawned, and sat up, "How are you feeling?" He asked her.

"Better than last night," she laughed, and looked at Peter with glittering eyes, she felt almost happy. Peter smirked, probably because he thought he had started to win the bet. Emma knew it would take more than napping together to win her over. Emma stood up.

"And why is that?" He asked, his smirk growing larger as he said so.

"Because I'm not delirious anymore, so I can finally remember how much of an asshole you are." Emma told him. Pan looked offended for a second, before recovering, and having an almost expressionless expression.

"I mean, come on, Pan," she said, "did you really think I would actually like you? Or even start to like you?" Emma was lying, and she knew it. She was actually starting to like Pan, or, the side of Pan that was more emotional.

"Really? You didn't seem to think so last night, when you cuddled up next to me."

"Oh god Peter, I was sick, and emotional. Of course, I was going to lay with you!"

"It didn't seem like it last night."

"Whatever happened last night, doesn't matter. I would never, ever, love you." Emma turned around, and did the only thing she could think of doing.

She kissed Peter. Hard, and passionately, and with emotion and she_ liked _it.

And he kissed her back.

And then she pulled away and ran, just like she did the first time.

* * *

Peter touched his lips as he saw Emma leave. She kissed him again.

He was so confused. Was she bi-polar? Or did she have some weird personality dysfunction? Did she like him, or did she just kiss people randomly?

_Was she in love?_

* * *

Emma ran harder than she ever had before, dodging the plants she had been told were poisonous. She was getting her anger out.

Why was she such a bitch?

She was leading him on. And she couldn't do that. She could never do that. She didn't want him to think he was winning.

And there was that.

The game. It was so hard to make someone fall for yourself without involving feelings. And she knew-she knew-that if he fell for her, she would fall for him.

But Emma couldn't help thinking about the fact that Peter was so pure around her. It all seemed so real.

Which was why it made it so much harder to walk away.

* * *

Bae followed Emma.

He knew it was a bad idea. From the moment he saw her leave, he knew she wanted to be alone. But he needed to talk to her.

"Emma?" He asked, walking into the clearing she was sitting in.

"What do you want?" She asked, standing up, obviously still angry at him.

"I just, Emma, I'm sorry," he sighed. Emma smiled up at him, a sad smile.

"I know you are." She said, looking very upset, "Which is why I could never be with you again." Bae stopped short.

"What?" He was completely confused. He had expected a joyful embrace, and some kissing would definitely have been involved.

"Neil, Bae," She started, one of her hands cupping his cheek, "Do you remember Henry?" Bae nodded, remembering the boy whom Emma had treated as her little brother for as long as he had know her, "I left him behind. And with every day that passes, I'm getting closer to getting back to him, but I'm also getting farther away from him. I-" Emma was cut off by howling off in the distance.

Human howling.

"What the-" Emma started again.

"New recruit." Bae said, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, "And, Pan said only to howl when- _no_. No, he couldn't have found it." Bae started running towards the camp.

"What, Neil? What couldn't Pan have found?" Emma yelled after him.

"The truest believer, Emma," He yelled back, "That'll buy you some time."

And then he was gone.

* * *

Felix watched, as everyone was celebrating this Henry boy's arrival. But Emma wasn't there, actually, he hadn't seen her all day.

Felix put two and two together. Pan had been worried earlier, Bae had left for a little while, and Emma was nowhere to be found.

She had run away.

And Felix knew he had to find her, before it was too late. She would be eaten alive by the island.

* * *

Emma stopped for the first time in hours. She had found a campsite-obviously unused-and began to work on it to get it to be livable. She didn't know where she was, how far she was from the camp, or what the hell she was doing, but she was almost glad to be away from everyone.

She had already went out of firewood, and woven a bunch of long leaves into a shelter cover. She had started her fire and was just sitting there.

She had no idea what to do.

So, she sat there.

* * *

Felix could tell Emma was near.

He saw a thin line of smoke coming through the trees.

And who else could it be?

"Emma?" He called out, as he followed the smoke, "Emma?" He heard rustling and he could tell the fire was put out: he heard the splash of water against hot coals.

He ran towards the sound, and seconds later found himself in an empty clearing. Emma had already left.

"Oh, it's only you, Felix," Emma said, dropping out of a tree nearby. Felix almost laughed at her as she did so.

"Wow, Emma, dropping out of a tree, so original." Felix rolled his eyes.

"Hey," Emma said, narrowing her eyes and pointing a finger in his direction, "No need to get sassy, Mister. And may I remind you, that you made me put out my fire, asshole." She whispered the last word under her breath, trying to cover up the fact that she was calling him that, but he heard.

"Hey!"

"Just get some firewood. We don't have time to walk back, Felix. We're staying the night here." She ordered.

"As you say, milady," Felix told her, faux bowing in such an exaggerated way that Emma only choice was to laugh.

"Just go Felix," she said, smiling at him.

* * *

**Hello again. I'm probably going to be posting like twenty chapter tonight. WOO-HOO!**

_**xxTMS**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own OUAT. I do not own any of these characters. I am not god. I do not own fairy tales. I do not want to own my own fucking magic towel you son of a- oh sorry, weird commercial. Heh, heh, *awkward shuffle away***_

* * *

**Chapter 6: _Tragic_**

* * *

"Why?"

"What?" Emma looked up at Felix, putting the rocks she held in her hand down. She was trying to light a fire. The first one was obviously luck. This one?_ Much_ harder.

"Why do you love him?" Felix asked, looking thoughtful.

"Who? I've loved more than a few boys in my lifetime." Emma joked, hoping to get a laugh out of him.

"Bae." Emma's breath hitched.

She wasn't sure she could tell anyone the hauntingly tragic tale of her first love. It was just so, sad.

"I-I can't." She said, going back to her fire.

"Emma-" Felix started, but was cut of by Emma.

"You really want to know?" She asked, cutting off whatever plea he was about to throw her way, "You really want to know the story of a girl who lost her heart to a boy who could never love her back? The story of a strong girl who, with just one word, one _name_, would become weak in the knees? The story of heartbreak, true, pure heartbreak? A story so tragic that even Satan himself would feel pity?"

Felix looked in her eyes, but instead of seeing anger, or sorrow, he saw fear. He saw a girl who, instead of being afraid of spiders, or snakes, or even dreamshade, was afraid of heartbreak. A girl who saw the unholy mess it created, and cowered back, in fear of what it would do next. Heartbreak had destroyed her life, and in return, she became unreachable.

"I really do, Emma."

**xx.**

_A fifteen-year-old Emma Swan looked around cautiously, before shoving her crowbar into the door of a yellow beetle. She wiggled it around, before finally unlocking the car and sitting down inside._

_She already knew how to drive. Perks of growing up on the run._

_She shoved the metal bar into the ignition, and ultimately failed at starting it._

"_Damn it!" She threw the crowbar onto the floor, and hit the steering wheel with her palm, careful not to hit the horn._

"_Aw, I was hoping you'd get it," said a male voice from behind her. Emma jumped in her seat before whirling around to see a boy-who looked a little older than her-dangling the keys to the car around his fingers._

_As soon as Emma realized she had tried to steal a car with the owner in it, she bolted. _

_Emma couldn't believe she was so stupid. She hadn't even bothered to check the backseat. He was probably taking a nap! But, no. She didn't even think about the fact that the owner might still be there._

_The owner followed. She could hear him, running after her, his feet pounding on the ground._

_But Emma was a fast runner. She sprinted away, careful not to look back, because she knew the dangers of that. Hitting a pole while running away from the owner of a car you tried to steal? Not that graceful._

_Emma relied mostly on her ears for finding out how far behind the person was. She could hear a pair of shoes rhythmically slapping the ground, not so far behind her._

_And she was starting to get tired._

_He caught up._

_And tripped her._

**xx.**

Emma couldn't stop the words from pouring out of her mouth. The first time she met Neal. She remembered it, clear as ice. After everything they'd gone through, every look, every touch, every kiss, and that was still the memory that stood out the most. She couldn't think about why, what made the memory so memorable.

**xx.**

"_I'm still really sorry about tripping you," Neal, the car 'owner', said to her as she sat in a cafe with a cup of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and cinnamon._

"_It's fine. It was two days ago," Emma told him, giving him a 'what can you do?' look._

"_And sorry about scaring you." He said, blowing out more air than usual from his nose, which Emma assumed was an almost laugh._

"_Ha! If I had known I was stealing a stolen car I wouldn't have run away as quickly," Emma told him honestly._

"_So quickly?" He questioned, quirking his head to the side._

"_Come on," She gave him an incredulous look, "You really think I would have stuck around, I may be a criminal, but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot."_

_Neal smiled. A lazy smile, one without thought or reason._

"_How would you feel about a proper date?" He asked, looking at her. Emma almost spit out some of the hot chocolate she was drinking._

"_A d-date?" She choked out._

"_Urm," Neal scratched the back of his neck, Emma could tell he was rethinking his actions, "yeah."_

_Emma looked taken aback, but soon composed herself, "Sure."_

**xx.**

Felix stared at Emma as she rehashed the memories of her and Neal. She told him of their first date, an awkward meeting at an old run-down diner, and then a really bad movie. She told him of how he had managed to get a second date after that, just because of the fact that throughout the whole movie he was making fun of it with her.

He listened as she told him the wondrous tale of two children, blindly in love with each other, following wherever love took them.

He urged her to continue when her voice cracked as she told him the sad tale of a note left behind say the words no one wanted to hear.

**xx.**

Emma cried. She cried and cried and cried.

Because she knew that as soon as she said it out loud, she knew it was real.

Her hope that it was all just a bad dream shattered as reality came crashing down around her.

He had left her, without looking back.

And she hated him for it.

As much as she loved him for all his good, she hated him for all his bad.

But she still cried.

**xx.**

A tear rolled down his cheek, as sadness and anger and heartbreak washed over him.

She was right, her tragic love story made even the devil himself cry.

And Pan couldn't remember the last time he cried.

**xx.**

_Dear Emma,_

_I don't think this will work out._

_I had this whole speech repaired, but I think I can sum it up in two words:_

_I'm sorry._

_I know you love me, but, I just don't think that's good enough. For the both of us. I want to be happy, and I want you to be happy._

_I think this is what's best._

_I don't want you to hate me, so, I left you the car, but I'd like to keep the apartment, if you don't mind._

_And, I also hope you don't get mad at me for already packing up your stuff. I just didn't want you to waste time._

_Oh, and your foster home called, I left the number at the bottom._

_Goodbye Emma,_

_**Neal**_

* * *

**(Sorry for not updating in forever, my computer broke and it took the FUCKING COMPUTER FIXER COMPANY THREE FUCKING WEEKS TO FIX THE FUCKING COMPUTER athem, excuse my french.)**

**I'm being goddamn sadistic, aren't I?**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed your pain.**

**No Piper Swan, I didn't feel like that kind of angst today. Sorry.**

**LUV YOU ALL**

_**xxTMS**_


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